Transferring for playing time

[gahsfan]

I know that every school, in every sport there are players and parents who think their child is being overlooked for a starting position or playing time. And most of those at one time or another complain to the coaches, AD and fellow fans around them and many times threaten to transfer to a school where they think they can play. The loyals always make excuses, say it will be "okay"',"they'll get their chance", "there are a lot of good players" and so on. BUT YET, when those same loyals' child is the one getting slighted, they are the first ones to change their tune and cry "foul". All of a sudden it is different for them, their situation is different, their child is better and they high-tail it out of there to another school. If every time a player transferred because they disagreed with the coach or their playing time, it would be difficult for any school to ever build a solid program. Maybe it's time to teach our kids that things don't always go their way, to realistically evaluate their abilities and figure out how to get better because soon they will find out that they can't quit and run everytime they don't like or agree with their boss or coworkers.

[Grove4Life]

One of the best post ever on this website. Teach your kids to face adversity head on and not run from it.

[js7_22]

If it were that simple....

What you are describing is and will always be the parents fault. Every parent wants his or her child to be that superstar, and cannot face the reality that Johnny or Jenny isn't as good as what they think. They will never admit to it and will use every excuse to validate why.

You might as well give up thinking it will ever change. Competition makes others one of two things, better, or quitters, your son or daughter must choose if they want to get or better, but it starts at a young age in a household that supports hard work and dedication. Parents cripple their kids by spoon feeding them their whole lives and it's only getting worse. 8th place trophies and participation points make parents feel better, but this is hurting our kids. Go back just 10-15 years ago and you can see a major difference then, go back 25-30 and even bigger. It's the way of the land and coaches are being penalized for it. This day and age it's difficult to be a teacher or coach, a lack of blame on the child makes it almost impossible for a coach to build a program.

Good luck finding the solution, if you do, please share the cure for cancer, hunger, and our national debt fixes as well.

[gahsfan]

JS7_22
I totally agree. My post is most definitely directed at the parents. I am old school so where did it all go wrong those 20-30 years ago?

[4thgoal]

JS7_22
I totally agree. My post is most definitely directed at the parents. I am old school so where did it all go wrong those 20-30 years ago?

In 1995 the internet was fully commercialized....

[eagles73Taylor]

When my son was in the 4th grade he was picked to play on an all star basketball team. He played some, but as I watched daddy ball kicked in. I never said a word to my son, coach and had to hold my wife back from saying something. After the last tournament my son asked me why he didn't play more, I said why do you think you didn't? He said that his ball handling needed work, especially his left and he wasn't aggressive enough on defense. We got home and he headed for the driveway and his hoop in nearly freezing weather to work in his game.

I was raised by my father who was a teacher and varsity football and basketball coach, he coached me my senior year in basketball. He told me that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else to keep others from complaining about me playing.

[fortdawg]

The vast majority of parents will never be rational about their kids. The problem comes when you run into the parent(s) who could care less about the team, as long as their offspring is happy.

My experience is that winning keeps a lid on the complaints for the most part---if things aren't going well it seems to bubble up quickly. hahhaahahahah

[niholly]

You guys keep talking about it from a parents perspective, what if it was the kid who was wanting to leave, feeling he wasn't getting a fair shot at playing time or was just unhappy with the current situation?? As a parent if you are faced with that would you sit back and make your kid go through the motions and be miserable because everyone else feels its the right thing to do. Or do you do what any parent with god given sense would do and that is try and make things more bare able for their child. Everyone talks about the parents and upset with kids lack of playing time yada yada yada, but what if it is the child who makes the decision he/she wants to try elsewhere??

[knightruner]

That's when the parents need to step up to the plate and tell the kid the facts of life you are not that da-- good and the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

[dirt_cinders]

It is not your pappy's "old school" things have changed since then.
The new rule in all high school sports is " go where you think you have a better opportunity to play" --- OHSAA has basically endorsed this. Athletic programs all over the state are actively recruiting kids from other schools at any grade level to come in and play and make their program better. It is what it is.......

If you happily receive new recruits that immediately play expect in turn to lose some kids immediately. They are in search of nothing more than what their current coaches and programs have endorsed.

[ONE OF A KIND]

JS7_22
I totally agree. My post is most definitely directed at the parents. I am old school so where did it all go wrong those 20-30 years ago?

The only difference between today and "25-30 years ago" is that parents move their kids more often now. Back in the day they just didn't play. "We don't have the right name so my kid doesn't get to play... The coach doesn't like my kid... He plays his favorites... My kid is better than all those who are starting..." So back then parents allowed their kids to quit. Parents haven't changed that much. Same excuses, just different "solutions."

[gahsfan]

It is the "old school" ways that have changed. It is not a "rule" in high school athletics to transfer where you can play but rather a trend, a trend that was created by parents who think their kids are all-stars or by parents who allow their teenage child to make the decision to transfer to a less competitive program so they can play rather than having them work harder to earn a spot on the more competitive team. The "old school" way was the coach was usually right and the kids were told to face the adversity, deal with it and work harder. Kids in general are much softer today than in years past thanks to the internet, tv, video games, but parents allowing the kids or the parents themselves to make excuses and jump from school to school are enabling this kind of "entitlement" and "quit when things get tough" mentally and ultimately crippling the kids for the future when faced with any unpleasantness.

My question to those transferees in search of some "glory days" for your kids, what happens when they don't get to play at the new school, on to another and then another???

Too bad everyone seems to have lost sight of the fact that high school is supposed to be about the education.

[niholly]

Well quite interesting getting the perspective of everyone from the outside looking in. NOW...speaking as someone who did transfer schools for several different reasons the biggest being I was in a miserable situation, had a coach I played for that believed in belittling the players in order to make them better, was told/called everything one can imagine. In one instance in practice was told to get out of here for simply answering a question to why I ran a play the way I ran only to be yelled at again to get my @$$ back in the huddle. That's one of the tamer examples have plenty of them but the point is I was miserable and his method of coaching wasn't one that worked with my personality it was nothing but a clash. So I transferred schools to get away from it and went on to play for an amazing coach and coaching staff, playing everything but extra point team. As we went on to win the conference and go to the playoffs and this was when it was 4 teams not this big 8 team and 6-4 can get you in stuff. So before everyone gets on here and wants to blame a parent for believing his child is the greatest athlete ever or better yet blame a kid for not wanting to stick it out, until you are put into that situation none of you KNOW anything about it. Outsiders perspective is always easiest perspective to give but one that offers the least amount of understanding or knowledge on the subject.

[dirt_cinders]

You are correct in that it is a trend. I misspoke .. but all the same.

We have not really answered the question of athletes leaving school A and going to school B. School B loves it and brings them in as you would expect.
Obviously there is a great chance a few existing athletes are replaced by the recruits. That is life and you have to tell your child that they can stay and fight the battle or be realistic and see all sides of the issue.

We don't call the kids and parents coming into our system weak and quitters ... really quite the opposite.
just have to see it for what it is .... not your pappy's old school.

[gahsfan]

Not sure what gave you the impression that those commenting have not been in the same position as you Greygoose. I am assuming most have, just chose a different lesson to teach . Sure there are those few cases that you described but certainly not to the frequency that the transfers are occurring.
I am wondering when the education part of high school became the "extra-curricular" activity. The emphasis on high school sports and the craziness that surrounds them, all for trying for that "moment in the sun".

[Badboy]

"But little Johnny is going to get a full ride at OSU and play in the NFL if you would just let him play more"!

Some parents are delusional. Same said parents (dad in particular) either didnt play sports or was no good and tries to fulfill that high school void through his kid.

The school the kids transfer out of isnt loosing anything by this. Its just one less problem parent around the team.

I get what Greygoose is saying, but that is a totally different issue altogether. Transferring for playing time is merely moving one problem to another school, and I agree, that is no way to show a kid how to face adversity when things dont go their way.

I cant imagine what this country will be like in the next 10-15 years when the generation of "trophies for participation" and "whiners" are running show. Lord help us.

I remember complaining as a kid because a coach's son was starting over me and I knew I was better than him. My dad cut me off and told me to practice more so my ability wasnt close to the coach's kid. I did just that...problem solved!