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Nuclear paranoia,after German authorities called in a locksmith to install 150 new locks at the Philippsburg nuclear plant,following the loss of a set of keys."This has never happened anywhere in Germany before," said a government spokeman."The keys have simply disappeared."

They lost the key...................

Makes me feel really secure

The pious,after a new study found that people who attend a religious service weekly live between 1.8 and 3.1 years longer than the average infidel.

really neat, tell me more, please.

Strange bedfellows,after La Cicciolina,54,the legendary Italian porn star,publicly offered herself to Osama bin Laden in return for him suspending his terror campaign against the West."It is time someone did something about bin Laden." she said,"and I am ready to do it."

relaxing

Scintology,after Tom Cruise and his chosen mate,Katie Holmes,announced the birth of their first child,a girl.The newest follower of science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard will go by the name Suri.

Hidden fees,after a Malaysian man received a telephone bill for $218 trillion.Yahaya Wahab was ordered to pay the bill within 10 days or face prosecution.The phone company,while not admitting error,has agreed to review the matter.

Laughing last,after a British man was banned from his local pub after 30 years of loyal drinking for criticizing the decor.He promptly bought the establishment and reinstated himself.

Scrabble enthusiasts,after the Hawaii state legislature passed a bill declaring that from this day forward the official state fish of Hawaii shall be the small,rectangular humuhumunukunkuapuaa.

The atmosphere,after Venezuelan researchers indetfied two harmless bacteria that,when added to cooked beans,make them flatulence-free.

Budweiser,after three middle-aged sports fans began marketing the Beerbelly,a strap-on false tummy that allows lushes to sneak an 80-ounce plastic container filled with beer into games and movies.

noreply66 wrote:Budweiser,after three middle-aged sports fans began marketing the Beerbelly,a strap-on false tummy that allows lushes to sneak an 80-ounce plastic container filled with beer into games and movies.

This has TTT written all over it....

Taking lessons,after Brittney Richardson,14,of Colorado, who's studied Karate for two years,fought off a man who tried to grab her as she walked home from a grocery store,leveling him with a blow to the face."I glad she had the skills,: said Brittney's mother.

Planting flowers, trees or anything actually.

It is supposed to rain. The plants will love it.

its a great week for looking at the ladies.

Lawyers,after a diner at an Indiana TGI Friday's restaurant discovered part of a human finger on his hamburger.The reataurant said the unconventional topping apparently was sliced off in a knife accident in the kitchen."We are very,very sorry this occurred,"said a manager.

it is wonderful week for babe watching

It is a wonderful week for rain!

That is all it has been doing!