Jack Welz Jr.

[El Ray]

Ok I confess from my earlier posts there is no Jack Farmer and I have no clue who Zach Farmer is either ...just having a little fun with a friend of mine...so to anyone who was offended I deeply apologize...especially to bengalfan76...again I have been told that Zach is a great player...however....there is a kid from the backwoods of Lawrence County named Jack Welz Jr. with loads of POTENTIAL...he has got great bloodlines and really has great instincts for the game...HOWEVER...there are few obstacles that he will need to over come if he ever wants to be the player he can be...#1 he needs to get off the couch...all he wants to do is eat Funyons, drink Mt Dew, and watch re-runs of Jack Nicholson and Jack Tripper all day.....Three's Co is his favorite...#2 he needs to workout...he has got a gut like Jackie Gleason and a head like a Jack O Lantern...a few jumping jacks and some pushaways from the flapjacks would be a nice start...this has nothing to do with baseball but he has a bad haircut too...reminds me of Shemp Howard from the Three Stooges...I hear it may be hereditary ...#3 he is a little immature...he still likes to read Jack and Jill, Jack and the Beanstalk, and watch that little carrot eatin' jack rabbit Bugs Bunny any chance he gets ...#4 he is not very bright...he keeps insisting that Tom and Jerry was created by Jack Hanna...I keep telling him NO that was William Hanna Jack is the "zoo guy" but he won't listen...#5 the Little Jack Wagon has a drinking problem...no not beer but yep you guessed it JACK...he likes that hard stuff already....but besides all that I still think with a little positive reinforcement, hard work, and prodding he could be the next Jack Clark...or Jack Morris of course if he decides to pitch...if you are reading this Jack the balls in your court are you going to be known as a complete jackoff or are you gonna get off the couch and be the next..

[Action Jackson]

Jack Welz Jr. does have the potential to hit jacks for sure. But you're right about his habits though. I saw him eating Funyons at Black Jack's Barber Shop in downtown Jackson last week. He was getting his hair cut (thank God) but when I would ask him questions about the upcoming season he would just sing a line from the Jackson Five to me and get up and dance around like Jack Black, so the question of his maturity level is something to not jack around with. Im really glad he didnt quote Jack and the Beanstalk, or Jack and Jill rhymes to me or would have felt like jacking his jaw!

His dad was a really good volleyball player, he good jump like a jack rabbit and hit the ball like a jackhammer hits the road. I remember they even called him Jumpin' Jack Flash Welz. I think he's now living in Jacksonville, Florida. But, he often get's up here around Halloween in time to make a jack o lantern and hangs out with Jack Jr.

I can see both, if had the same delivery as Danny Jackson, but really reminds me of Jack McDowell. When he's not pitching he's usually at first base, kind of does remind me of a young Jack Clark at the plate. He can throw a football like the Throwin' Samoan'.

[cooperstown]

You guys have totally hi-jacked this post. I find yourbehavior to be unacceptable and a classic example of totally jacked-up.
I asked a guy about Jack just the other day. He was quick to tell me "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick," and then went on mumbling something that I really didn't understand. It was something 'bout Jack and a candlestick. All I could say was C'mon Man! Then I had to get out of there. I think we are all forgetting this boys brother. Ya'll remember Billy Jack, right ?

[El Ray]

There is nothing but a bunch of jackoffs on this thread!

[El Ray]

Jack Jr does have a brother named Billy Jack... The last I heard his mom caught him jacking*** to Threes Company and kicked him out...he swore he was thinking about Jacks roommates but the Jack Tripper poster in his room makes you wonder...word traveled fast and some kids at school hijacked his car, jacked his jaws, and told him "hit the road jack and don't come back here no more"...he tried to transfer to Jackson but they said they have enough jackoffs already...he ended up moving to Jacksonville with his dad Jack Sr....they contemplated a move to Jackson , Mississippi but decided to open their own toy store making Jack in the Boxes...one jacked up family I 'll tell ya...i think they'd all be better off if they'd just go take a shot of jack!

[Action Jackson]

Word is that the Jacks (Jr. & Sr.) have seen this thread and are about to turn into Jack the Ripper on all of us jackwagons that keep posting about this. Jack Jr. is really upset about the comment with Jack Tripper. He swears it was Crissy Snow, and not Tripper. I don't know, Jack Jr. seems to be nothing like his brother Billy Jack. I know that Billy Jack got his name when Jack Sr. was drinking Jack Daniels and eating Cracker Jacks while he watched Billy Jack Hanes from Wrestling years ago jack Hulk Hogan's jaw. Hogan's jaw was pretty jacked up after that, but he wasn't that mad when he went home to "Jack" his pet Jack Russell terrier. I think Billy Jack is currently working as a lumberjack in Jackson. He brings in some cheese with that job,,,,pepper jack cheese that is.

[El Ray]

Does Hulk Hogan really have a dog named Jack?... Also I heard Billy Jack is off work for awhile he hurt his back doing a jackknife off the diving board...again what a real jackoff

[Action Jackson]

Yeah, Hogan got "Jack", his Jack Russell Terier as a prize for entering and winning a jumping jack contest back in Jacksonville, Miss. I guess his favorite thing to do with his dog "Jack" was to watch Saturday Night Live skits of "Deep Thoughts", By Jack Handy.

But back to Jack Jr.,, my brother said he saw him today walking around with his jacket over his head. When my brother asked him why, Jack Jr. took his jacket down and said that his eye was swollen from getting stung by a yellow jacket. My brother said he told him not to worry about the sting from the yellow jacket and put his jacket on the right way because Jack Frost is out and it's freezing. I tell you though, that Jack Jr. is a jack of all trades when it comes wearing a jacket. But sometimes he gets out of control, and you need a straitjacket for him.

[Action Jackson]

got an email from Mrs. Jackie Jackson from Jackson H.S. She said that Jack Jr. is suspended today from getting upset over his Jack in the Box not working property and tearing the phone jack out of the wall. He jacked up the whole phone system and now the phones are not worth jack crap.

He's probably home now eating Apple Jacks out of his Bengals bowl like CD.

[Action Jackson]

This is his favorite movie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Jack_1996.jpg

[Action Jackson]

We need to jack this thread to the top.

[El Ray]

Just received a letter from Jack Jr. this morning here is what it said:

I am tired of being a complete jackoff. I am getting too old for this stuff. I am going to start doing jumping jacks every morning. No more flapjacks, crackerjacks, or applejacks for me. Nothing but fruits and veggies. No more alcohol or jack and cokes. Nothing but water and fresh OJ straight from Jacksonville, FL. I am going to join the lifecenter and get totally jacked up. I am going to look up Jack Brannon for some hitting lessons and Tom Bergan for some magnet bracelets. In the spring I will be the next Jack Clark. You will see. Even though everyone on this post is a complete Jackwagon I appreciate your words because they have motivated me to be the best I can be. Total celebacy too (including jacking off) . It weakens the knees. Also, even though dad will be mad I am cutting my hair as well. Yep you guested it bald just like CoJack. Thanks again guys. I will keep you posted with my progress.

Sincerely,
Jack Welz Jr.

[Action Jackson]

His goal is to be as fast as Jackie Robinson and to not be some jackbooty like that Jack Sparrow. He has some work to do with his speed though. Ever since Jack Jr. jacked up his leg in that wreck in Jack, Alabama 36346 from his truck jackknifing, it's given him trouble. He wrecked from drinking too much Yukon Jack. Power has never been a problem though. He can hit some jacks and has been compared to Jack Clark and Jack Cust, and can probably hit more jacks with one hand than Jack Wilson could ever hit. On the mound, Jack Jr. could be another Jack McDowell, Jack Armstrong, or Jack Morris.

Hopefully Jack's letter was sincere and we will see what Jack is capable of. I really hope that hair cut gets taken care of though. Jack Sr. never did get that one take care of.

[Action Jackson]

http://www.plaxo.com/directory/profile/ ... /Jack/Welz


Good pic of Jr. & Sr. right here: http://themoderatevoice.com/wordpress-e ... er/moe.jpg

[Action Jackson]

Word has it that Jack Jr. is really working hard this holiday season on hitting jacks. He's not jacking around with the jack in the box he got for Christmas like last year.

bball06 said that AD enjoyed the story about the Welz duo too.