Coaches have no true friends do they?

[CCC]

The longer I am in the business of coaching the more I see and hear people complain about coaches at all levels. It seems to me that few people sencerly respect and value what coaches do for the young women and men they spend their time with. I have seen people that would rather have their son or daughter play every minute of each game then to have the team win the game. And if their child does not play enough then they become negative toward the coach and begin to involve their son or daughter in these conversations. My belief is that the parents who take this turn toward this negativity generally have children they are reluctant to critic and discipline themselves. Some parents have become enablers to their children and have lost the ability to lead by example and remember OR NOT what it was like when they played a particular sport. I have seen some parents who are genuinely concerned for all the players and the success of their particular school. Looking back I am so proud of my parents for not becoming the group of apathy that sits together in the stands when I was that kid in the bottom 15 on the team getting my most deserved 1.3 seconds of playing time per game when I was in middle school. The funny thing was that by the time the bottom 5 of the 15 reached 10th grade we all were starters. I wonder if that was because my parents were in my ear about how bad or good my coach was or if the time I put in the game IN THE OFF SEASON, finally paid off. I know what Is the off season. I feel people are in the age of entitlement and that working hard means nothing any more. If you are a parent who supports your child and school and can say that with true passion you are such an asset to your child and school. I remember a time when coaches were treated a people and not the enemy and fans and parents supported their team but the has caused coaches to only associate with their staffs and players. Now when people or parents talk to coaches the coach had to wonder what the conversation is really about and the crowd thinks the parent is sucking up. I'm not sure how to change this epademic but it is alive and real with great teams as well as bad. Maybe we should start back to the grass roots of being honest with our children and letting them know it's not always someone else's fault but that they might not be as gifted as the girl or boy in front of them or would that make our children mad at us? What happened to the child worrying if mom or dad would be mad at them instead. I love coaches at all levels and all sports for what they do and having the ability to not judge kids on who they are and aren't afraid to tell their players what they are good at and what they are not. What a gift to be able to show student athletes their positive and negative skill base and be able to take the time to work with them on their deficiencies each and very day and not just talk about it or blame it on their parents biological makeup. I think we all as a society need to take a step back and focus on our support for all your school programs and the advisors and coaches who devote numerous hours for the benefit of someone else's child.

[CCC]

Oh and by the way I need to throw in coaches spouses who agonize over every lose and hug on every win because as my wife calls coaching her mistress but yet finds her self supporting me and my players all the way. If anyone should the the coach it should be their family for taking away precious hours and time from their own family for someone else's child. Life is to short enjoy each other we are not here for very long ;)

[theburgtheword]

Great post.

[goUK]

Theres a reason coaches and teachers turnover rate continues to increase.

[mikepike]

Don't you know that the kid of the parents who complain the most or expect to be treated differently is going to be an NBA star, and the coach is too stupid to realize it?

I'd rather see my kid score 5 points a game on a 20-0 team than score 30 on an 0-20 team.

[noreply66]

The grand-parents,parents and the fans know more about coaching than a coach. All you have to do is sit in the stands and you will find that out..........LOL

I would go along with mikepike

[Pol pot]

Very well said 66

[sportphotos]

Amen CCC

[Blackcobra]

We live in a declining society that tells all kids especially the lower grades that they are all winners. "You should get the same playing time as the rest". unfortunately the parents buy into this at times. Life tells you just the opposite. As a parent its a hard pill to swallow. You have to put time in, hundreds of hours to polish your skills your basketball IQ. Some kids have natural talent, others not so much. But they have to practice too. You cant just go out and play a few pick up games in the summer and expect a coach to put you in the game. Some kids will be starting in the next few weeks their AAU season, playing up to 60+ games until June/July depending if they are in a league or just play tournaments. Many times the result is an evolving and improving player from one season to the next. A very valuable time of player skill progression. Yes there are coaches that are better at the game. There are great coaches that can win games by strategy with a less talented team, I feel more often than not the complaints about players not playing deals more with the mindset of the parents and exaggerated views they have of their childs ability. But what coach wakes up and says I cant wait to lose tonight? I love to talk to parents, if its a problem just sit down halfway through the season and at the end if you have soph, juniors and give them a progress report if needed, be like your child is a good kid, here is where he/ she needs to improve . Either way its going to be uncomfortable if issues are discussed or not....pick your poison lol

[Da Bears]

Maybe the most insightful and VERY true post to be put on here EVER. This needs to go on the football forum also! Thanks CCC! Although I am very very lucky to have been able to retire early, during the 12 years I was a high school football coach I could see parents causing more and more problems. I have been asked twice to come out of retirement and help locally . . . sorry, no way!

[youthsportsfan]

The longer I am in the business of coaching the more I see and hear people complain about coaches at all levels. It seems to me that few people sencerly respect and value what coaches do for the young women and men they spend their time with. I have seen people that would rather have their son or daughter play every minute of each game then to have the team win the game. And if their child does not play enough then they become negative toward the coach and begin to involve their son or daughter in these conversations. My belief is that the parents who take this turn toward this negativity generally have children they are reluctant to critic and discipline themselves. Some parents have become enablers to their children and have lost the ability to lead by example and remember OR NOT what it was like when they played a particular sport. I have seen some parents who are genuinely concerned for all the players and the success of their particular school. Looking back I am so proud of my parents for not becoming the group of apathy that sits together in the stands when I was that kid in the bottom 15 on the team getting my most deserved 1.3 seconds of playing time per game when I was in middle school. The funny thing was that by the time the bottom 5 of the 15 reached 10th grade we all were starters. I wonder if that was because my parents were in my ear about how bad or good my coach was or if the time I put in the game IN THE OFF SEASON, finally paid off. I know what Is the off season. I feel people are in the age of entitlement and that working hard means nothing any more. If you are a parent who supports your child and school and can say that with true passion you are such an asset to your child and school. I remember a time when coaches were treated a people and not the enemy and fans and parents supported their team but the has caused coaches to only associate with their staffs and players. Now when people or parents talk to coaches the coach had to wonder what the conversation is really about and the crowd thinks the parent is sucking up. I'm not sure how to change this epademic but it is alive and real with great teams as well as bad. Maybe we should start back to the grass roots of being honest with our children and letting them know it's not always someone else's fault but that they might not be as gifted as the girl or boy in front of them or would that make our children mad at us? What happened to the child worrying if mom or dad would be mad at them instead. I love coaches at all levels and all sports for what they do and having the ability to not judge kids on who they are and aren't afraid to tell their players what they are good at and what they are not. What a gift to be able to show student athletes their positive and negative skill base and be able to take the time to work with them on their deficiencies each and very day and not just talk about it or blame it on their parents biological makeup. I think we all as a society need to take a step back and focus on our support for all your school programs and the advisors and coaches who devote numerous hours for the benefit of someone else's child.

One of the absolute best posts I've seen on here. Please copy to the jr high forum , they need it prob more than any. I wish this went into every students packets at ironton. People don't question final 4 team but everyone questions this yr. fact is this group isn't as talented and we have the very same coach. He's doing everything he can but just doesn't have the same firepower as before. Off season work most these boys haven't seen. Last yrs team played all yr round. And it shows.

[youthsportsfan]

The longer I am in the business of coaching the more I see and hear people complain about coaches at all levels. It seems to me that few people sencerly respect and value what coaches do for the young women and men they spend their time with. I have seen people that would rather have their son or daughter play every minute of each game then to have the team win the game. And if their child does not play enough then they become negative toward the coach and begin to involve their son or daughter in these conversations. My belief is that the parents who take this turn toward this negativity generally have children they are reluctant to critic and discipline themselves. Some parents have become enablers to their children and have lost the ability to lead by example and remember OR NOT what it was like when they played a particular sport. I have seen some parents who are genuinely concerned for all the players and the success of their particular school. Looking back I am so proud of my parents for not becoming the group of apathy that sits together in the stands when I was that kid in the bottom 15 on the team getting my most deserved 1.3 seconds of playing time per game when I was in middle school. The funny thing was that by the time the bottom 5 of the 15 reached 10th grade we all were starters. I wonder if that was because my parents were in my ear about how bad or good my coach was or if the time I put in the game IN THE OFF SEASON, finally paid off. I know what Is the off season. I feel people are in the age of entitlement and that working hard means nothing any more. If you are a parent who supports your child and school and can say that with true passion you are such an asset to your child and school. I remember a time when coaches were treated a people and not the enemy and fans and parents supported their team but the has caused coaches to only associate with their staffs and players. Now when people or parents talk to coaches the coach had to wonder what the conversation is really about and the crowd thinks the parent is sucking up. I'm not sure how to change this epademic but it is alive and real with great teams as well as bad. Maybe we should start back to the grass roots of being honest with our children and letting them know it's not always someone else's fault but that they might not be as gifted as the girl or boy in front of them or would that make our children mad at us? What happened to the child worrying if mom or dad would be mad at them instead. I love coaches at all levels and all sports for what they do and having the ability to not judge kids on who they are and aren't afraid to tell their players what they are good at and what they are not. What a gift to be able to show student athletes their positive and negative skill base and be able to take the time to work with them on their deficiencies each and very day and not just talk about it or blame it on their parents biological makeup. I think we all as a society need to take a step back and focus on our support for all your school programs and the advisors and coaches who devote numerous hours for the benefit of someone else's child.

One of the absolute best posts I've seen on here. Please copy to the jr high forum , they need it prob more than any. I wish this went into every students packets at ironton. People don't question final 4 team but everyone questions this yr. fact is this group isn't as talented and we have the very same coach. He's doing everything he can but just doesn't have the same firepower as before. Off season work most these boys haven't seen. Last yrs team played all yr round. And it shows.

Not saying that some of the players don't work hard but collectively as a group last yr team logged alot more aau games than most. A coach can develope so much. But the good players become great In April -July

[MTSWNGRVSG]

CCC-Great Post!

As for the people that think a player is a D-I Athlete-If a player is truly D-I the coaches can not screw them up because they will make the coach look very smart!

As a note to coaches that read this the best line my wife every told me was this. "I set on the visitors side tonight and I just want to tell you their fans thought their coach was just as dumb as you!"

[alabama mike]

Fantastic post CCC! I have had the chance to sit on a few sides of the fence as a coach, parent and then as a member of the community. Coaching any sport is just about always a no win situation bc of parents, NOT THE KIDS! I do not know any coach that tries to lose a game, they all want to win.

I think the problem starts with the pee wee leagues bc so many kids play football, basketball, baseball and soccer and it continues on into jr. high and high school. Most of the pee wee leagues have a minimum mandatory play rule, I have no problem with that rule. The problem starts when all- star or travel teams are selected. Some kids that started, saw significant playing time are now not playing or playing very little.

At the jr. high level, kids that started in pee wee do not make the team or see very little playing time. Most of the kids at this level understand that they are not as good in a particular sport as their peers. Here, kids that have played every sport together are starting to go their separate ways athletically. Some kids will play one sport, a few will play two but it is rare to see a kid excel at three sports.

In high school the separation of talent continues to grow. As a parent, it is a hard pill to swallow. I can speak from experience because I had one son go from two sports to one and the other son go from three sports to two.

The best thing a parent can do for their child is to support them and not criticize the coach in front of them. I would like to thank all the coach's who worked with my boys while they were in school. Your time, effort and support are much appreciated.

[Ironman92]

I saw one word in that first lengthy post



ENTITLEMENT

[noreply66]

One thing i see is a lot of the parents [mostly fathers] that complain didn't play that much when they were in school. I have a neighbor that didn't even play sports in school [grades..but good] and he thinks his son is the best in basketball and baseball...good but not the best.

[momg]

It is a society issue. It starts when these kids are little and everyone gets a trophy. What happened to feeling that punch in the gut as a kid when you didn't finish first. A lot of sports now don't even keep score until the kids are like 9-10 years old. I helped coach a couple of teams last year. One my daughter played on and the other I did not have a child playing. I truly enjoyed both but it is more difficult when your child is on the team. When I am not coaching I have always tried to only talk to my wife about things the coach did that I didn't agree with. Nowadays everyone feels they can say what they want at anytime and not have any repercussions for it.

[The Oaf]

CCC-Great Post!

As for the people that think a player is a D-I Athlete-If a player is truly D-I the coaches can not screw them up because they will make the coach look very smart!

As a note to coaches that read this the best line my wife every told me was this. "I set on the visitors side tonight and I just want to tell you their fans thought their coach was just as dumb as you!"

Epic!! :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8 :aaaaa8

[eagles73Taylor]

mtswngrvsg, classic! lol

I have a little different perspective on this, my father coached varsity basketball at Piketon for 7 years, and I played 1 year for him my senior season. While I didn't hear anything from my teammate, my mom recently told me she had to listen to a few parents of jrs and sophs who they thought my dad was showing favoritism towards me.

When I watch, or have coached my sons little league teams, I am harder on him than anyone. However, I try not to go overboard with his performance.

Noreply, you are spot on with your assessment, I see it in the kids I coach whose dad never saw foot on the court or field, yet think their kid walks on water.

Parents need to support and only criticize on things like attitude and hustle. Help your kid work on their game and be supportive, but not at the detriment of the team.

[ndc soccer]

I think a big problem is that we don't have our best & most knowledgeable coaches at the correct levels. Who are coaching our youngest players? At this level (6-10 age), they should be exposed to the best coaches. That age group is very important with learning the basic rules & technical fundamentals of the required sport. Dribbling a ball, swinging a bat, throwing a ball or kicking a ball. Winning games with kids between the ages of 6-13 has become far too important.