Good Week For

Post by **noreply66** » Sat May 20, 2006 8:52 am

Class warfare,after police in Hamburg,Germany,began hunting a gang of robbers dressed as superheroes who have been stealing Kobe beef fillets,smoked salmon,and Champagne from upscale shops and restaurants and giving it all to the poor.

cows and chickuns · Post by **cows and chickuns** » Sat May 20, 2006 9:40 am

It's a good day for GUS MACKER!!!!!!!!!!

Post by **noreply66** » Mon May 22, 2006 12:31 pm

Undersea Gossip,after scientists revealed that not only do bottlenose dolphins have names for one another--expressed in distinctive patterns of whistles--but that two dolphins will sometimes refer to a third dolphin by name even when he or she isn't present.

ace63 · Post by **ace63** » Mon May 22, 2006 12:33 pm

taken a nap

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 24, 2006 7:50 am

Boy kings,after the 3,000-year-old mummified penis of King Tutankhamen,which had been reported missing in 1968,was doscovered lying under his mummified body.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat May 27, 2006 8:46 am

Miracles,after police came to arrest a wheelchair-bound Los Angeles woman on charges that she had filed several bogus personal-injury lawsuits.The woman,Laura Medley,35,jumped out of her chair and tried to run down the street.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon May 29, 2006 3:06 pm

Aesop------after a British tortoise that vanished from its owner's garden eight months ago was found walking down a country lane less than two miles away.That calculated to a pace of about 40 feet per day.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 31, 2006 8:43 pm

Ambition---after German thieves stole an entire,20-ton roller coaster that was being transported to a fair."In all my years on the job," said a policeman,"I have never heard of a roller coaster being stolen."

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 10:17 am

Hollow Legs-----after Lithuanian truck driver Vidmantas Sungaila was pulled over and found to have a blood-alcohol level of more than 18 times the legal limit.Police were so astonished,they assumed their testing device was broken.It wasn't.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:55 pm

Celebrity endorsements---after the Rev.O'Neal Dozier announced during a political prayer breakfast for Florida gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist,"The Lord Jesus spoke to me and he daid,There's somrthing I want you to know: Charlie Crist will be the next governor of the state of Florida."

YOU'RE TIGER BAIT · Post by **YOU'RE TIGER BAIT** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:47 am

GOOD WEEK FOR SOME LOVIN, SORRY, I'M TAKEN. GOT 20 YEARS IN. :-D

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:32 am

Duffers,after the Supreme Court of Hawaii ruled that golfers are not liable for injuries caused by slices,hooks,and other errant balls.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 8:19 am

Asterisks--as Barry Bonds,under investigation for steroids use,passed Babe Ruth's record of 714 career home runs and sits on 715.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:09 am

Incentives--after the coach of the Ukrainian national soccer team announced that he would lift the ban on players having sex with their wives if the team reached the semifinals of the World Cup."In fact," said Oleg Blokhin,"I will personally drag them to their wives wheather they want to or not."

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:59 am

Quiet desperation-after a survey found that one in six Britons have been drunk at work,and the most common reason for people under 30 to call in sick is a hangover.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 8:35 am

Family ties, after genealogist identified a balding University of Miami accounting professor as a direct descendant of Mongol warlord Genghis Khan."I think I do have a certain number of administrative skills,"said Tom Robinson,though"I haven't done any conquering,per se."

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:03 am

Nonattachment, after the supreme patriarch of Cambodia's 40,000 Buddhist monks ruled that they could watch World Cup soccer games,as long as they were silent and impassive." Screaming and cheering with an angry face or a happy feeling are the acts of street kids," said Non Nget,warning that violators would "lose their monkhoods,"

butcherman108 · Post by **butcherman108** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:35 pm

Weis-guys wrote:
noreply66 wrote:Budweiser,after three middle-aged sports fans began marketing the Beerbelly,a strap-on false tummy that allows lushes to sneak an 80-ounce plastic container filled with beer into games and movies.

This has TTT written all over it....

TTT drinks lite beer not big enough to lift regular. :lol:

caglewis · Post by **caglewis** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:35 am

I have a new grandson!!! James Zachary [to be called Zack] born at 10:00 PM CDT 6/21 in Naperville IL.
He weighed 9 lb 3 oz and is 20 in long.
He will join 3-yr-old big brother Austin. He's my 5th grandchild.