Good Week For

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:56 am

Narcissism,after a British survey revealed that the average woman spends two years of her life studing herself in mirrors,store windows,and other reflective surfaces.Men,who take quicker peeks,only spend six months per lifetime checking out how they look.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:34 am

Rationalizationa, with the news that recovering drug addict Eric Clapton has started playing "Cocaine" in concert again,having concluded that it is,at its core,an anti-drug song.What the song's about.is that,you know,there's a price, said the guitarist.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:32 pm

The free market, after fisherman in southern India spread the rumor that the tiny,inedible ayrai kunch fish might cure impotence.The fish's market value soared to $2.25 a pound,up from absolutely nothing.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:29 pm

Overkill, after Starbucks announced plans to double the number of its U.S. outlets. We have never been more enthuased and more aggressive about the unique opportunities we have to expand the footprint in existing cities across America, said founder and chairman Howard Schultz.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:05 am

Official clarification,after Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei decreed that masturbation is permissible during Ramadan as long as the act is not intentional.

Remember_The_Name · Post by **Remember_The_Name** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:59 am

SOUTHERN BEATING EASTERN ON SATURDAY!!!!

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:19 pm

The immature,after the Hubble Space Telescope found a giant, swirling dark spot on Uranus.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:01 am

Makers of exercise machines, after a new study found that the number of Americans walking to work had dropped to 2.9 percent.In 1980,5.6 percent got to the job on foot.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 6:43 pm

Male intelligence, after a study of 100,000 American SAT tests found that men have a 4-to 5- IQ advantage over women.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:06 pm

Leveling the playing field,after Japanese sumo officials ordered wrestler Kokkai--a 375 pounder from the former Soviet republic of Georgia--to shave off his beard because opponents said it gave him an unfair advantage. The bristes are very hard and prickly, said rival Mosoyama.It hurts.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:05 pm

The eyelash-deficient,with the news that eyelash transplants--in which hair follicles recruited from the head are sewn into eyelids--are becoming the latest rage in plastic surgery."Eyelash transplantation does for the eyes what breast augmentation does for the figure," said plastic surgion Dr. Alan Bauman.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 2:58 pm

Postmodernist bullying, after a Canadian teenager was beaten up by a gang of thugs with a videocamera,and then forced to watch the tape of himself being beatin up.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:28 pm

Kim Jong II, who fired up his satellite TV for the start of the National Basketball Association's regular season.The reclusive, now-nuclear-armed North Korea leader--5'3"--has regulation courts at all of his palaces and a video library of Michael Jordan's best games."He's a huge fan,,"said NBA official Tony Ronzone, who's made three trips to North Korea."He's addicted."

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:35 pm

Lil Kimmy Jong Il is such a creep.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:06 pm

Exotic Tourism, with the news that the Toro Bora caves of Afganistan,where Osama bin Laden once hid from U.S. troops,will be converted into a $10 million resort."It was a picnic spot long before anyone had heard of Osama bin Laden,"said Afghan warlord Gul Agha Sherazi,who has gone into real estate development.

alex_fout · Post by **alex_fout** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:13 pm

not much of anything because of the weather

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 3:33 pm

The underendowed ,after an Australian firm launched the Wondercup,a line of underwear that claims to do for male genitalia what the Wonderbra does for women's breast."it basically lifts,separates,and extends," said creator Sean Ashby.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:06 pm

Faith, after a Florida man was ambushed and shot in the chest by two assilants as he took out the trash.The bullet was stopped by the two Bibles he was carrying in his pocket.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:04 am

For someone who likes to eat and that be me.......

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:14 pm

Frankenscience,after British stem-cell research applied for a license to create human-cow hybrid embryos. A member of Parliament who supports the research said that since the technique may one day help cure a range of diseases,"it would actually be immoral to prevent it just because of ayuck factor."