Good Week For

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The French,after France's health minister launched a study of whether workers,already limited by law to a 35-hour workweek,should be allowed to take naps on the job.Why not a nap at work asked minister Xavier Bettrand.It can't be a taboo subject.

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Emma faust Tillman,of Connecticut,who at 114 was named the worlds oldest person by Guinness World Records last week.Tillman credited her survival to God's will.Whatever the Good Lord wants is what will happen,said Tillman.

[BubbleGumTiger]

For Football!

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Consistency, when Richard Knoebel,chief of police in Kewaskum,Wis., wrote himself a $235 traffic ticket for passing a stopped school bus.Knoebel said he didn't see the bus on the other side of the road until he had passed it,but wouldn't accept that excuse from another motorist.I shouldn't be any different,he said.

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Missing the 5:15, after Bulgarian mass-transit authorities began screening soft-core porn movies at a station in Sofia "to take passengers minds off the cold and to pass the time while waiting for a bus."

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Miracles, after Ted Haggard,the evangelical leader who resigned as the results of a three-year affair with a male prositute,emerged from just three weeks of intensive counseling to declare himself now "completely heterosexual.

[ItownHosscat]

jello...a cheap form of posting

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Baseball fans,after pitchers and catchers reported to springtraining camps in Florida and Arizona at the same time a winter storm swept across the U.S.

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British women, who have the biggest breast in Europe,according to a new survey by bra manufacturer Triumph.Fifty-seven percent of British women wear a D-cup or larger,compared with 50 percent in runner-up Denmark,and 10 percent in Italy.

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Interventions, after Ayman al-Zawahri,Osama bin Laden's right-hand man,released an audiotape in which he calls President Bush an alcoholic,and says he is "addicted to two other faults: lying and gambling.

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Raymond Snouffer Jr., of Minnesota, who won the $25,000 state lottery two days in a row--bit of luck that officials said defied "incalculable" olds.

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Off-Label uses,after desperate British doctors gave Viagra to Lewis goodfellow,a 1.5 pound premature baby,thereby expanding the blood vessels in his lungs and saving his life.They were just clutching at straws,basically,said Lewis grateful mother ,Jade.

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Living and dying in L.A.,with the news that los Angeles has the lowest funeral costs in the nation.The average Los Angels funeral cost a mere $7,786,compared to a whopping $9,990 in first-place Chicago.

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Staying on message, after Australia's Cardinal George Pell imposed a five-minute limit on funeral orations by friends and family members,and banned rememberances of the deceased's drinking prowess and sexual exploits.

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Outsourcing ,after a Chinese man advertised for a woman to serve as a stand-in for his mistress,so his angry wife could beat her up.
He offered 3,000 yuan ($400) for 10 minutes of being pummeled. Ten women have applied.

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Invuinerability, after Rulon Gardner,who won a gold medal in wrestling for the U.S. at the 2000 Olympics,survived a smallplane crash in Lake Powell in Utah by swimming more than a mile to shore in 44 degree water.Gardner,35,has already survived a motorcycle collision,getting frostbite while stranded in the wilderness of Wyoming,and impaling himself on an arrow.I should be dead,Gardner conceded.

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washing the car

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cleaning

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LOGGING

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Getting Even, after 7-year-old Wisconsin girl called police to report that her grandfather was cheating at cards.Police have decided not to charge either party.