Good Week For

d-5 · Post by **d-5** » Tue May 01, 2007 10:29 pm

jello

Post by **noreply66** » Sun May 06, 2007 9:50 pm

Jimmy Buffett Fans, after scientists at the U.S. Department of Agriculture announced that fruity alcoholic cocktails may be good for you.Adding ethanol to purees of blended fruit apparently raises their levels of healthful antioxidants,a study found.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:40 pm

Buying a hybrid,after gas prices jumped 10 cents in just a week,and the average cost of a gallon neared the all-time record high of $3.06 established after Hurricane Katrina.Analysts warned that during the Summer driving season,prices could soar to 3.50 a gallon or higher.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 11, 2007 7:35 pm

halftime entertainment, after german demographers announced a 30 percent spike in the number of children being born,exactly nine months after World Cup Finals took place in Germany."During the World Cup,emotions run high,explained Dr. Rolf kliche.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 15, 2007 9:27 pm

Heathens,after a team of linguists completed the 30-years process of translating the Bible into the language of Australia's Aboriginals.Among other subtle changes,the "Holi Baibul" urges Christians to "want god with all their insides," rather than loving Him with all their heart.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:22 pm

The Blind,after the launch of SoundsDirty,a pornographic Web site for the visually impaired. "We have heard all the jokes about going blind when you do certain things,but this is totally serious,: said founder Lloyd Chambers.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:37 pm

Drinking on the job,after a Brazilian brewery was ordered to pay $49,000 to a former beer taster who claims his job turned him into an alcoholic.The unnamed man says he was required to drink up to 25 small glasses of beer per eight-hour shift.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 22, 2007 7:10 pm

Self-propuision,after hundreds of Indian rail passengers were told to get out of their stalled train and push.it took the grunting passengers more than half an hour to move the massive train 12 feet so that it could touch live overhead wires and resume its journey.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu May 24, 2007 5:45 pm

EQuality, after an Italian woman cleared legal hurdles to become Venice's first female gondolier.The 425 male gondoliers have been largely hostile,says Alexandra Hai, but she has been encouraged by the cries of "Brava gonoliera!"Brava! as she passes beneath the city's faded,overhanging facades.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat May 26, 2007 10:49 pm

leaving your body to science,after a Dutch hospital begged public-spirited citizens to stop donating their bodies for use in teaching medical students.The University Medical Center in Leiden says that it already has 60 percent more bodies than it can store.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 30, 2007 5:39 pm

Frequent Fliers, after a team of Argentine scientist announced that Viagra could be effective in treating jet lag,at least in hamsters.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:05 pm

Turning the other cheek,after a Dutch woman immediately forgave Bokito,the 11-year-old gorilla who savagely bit her and broke her arm after he escaped his cage at a Rotterdam zoo. " He is and remains my darling," said the unnamed 57-year-old woman,who says she has been visiting the ape all his life.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:01 pm

Palak Vyas,30, of Great Britain,who gave birth to a healthy daughter after being in labor for a mere two minutes."Papak pushed once and the baby squirted out," said proud father Shashi Vyas,33,who has already alerted the Guinness Book of Records to his wife's achievement.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 10:54 pm

Genetic engineering, after biotechnologists in New Zealand unveiled a new breed of cow whose udders produce milk with only 1 percent fat.The milk is apparently also high in omega-3 fatty acids and makes healthful butter that spreads as easily as margarine.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 9:49 am

Being really,really sure, after Britain's Ted Towle,83, married sweetheart Hilda Clark,73, after a courtship spanning 49 years,nine children,and 22 grandchildren."Hilda won't be rushed into anything," Towle explained after the ceremony.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:23 pm

Schizophrenics,after the launch of a Web site for people who hear voices.Unlike other online psychiatric resources,says founder Marius Romme,Intervoiceonline will not "automatically assume that hearing voices is in itself a problem."

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:03 pm

Privacy, after the Maryland Court of Appeals ruled that police violated a man's constitutional rights when they snapped on rubber gloves and searched his buttocks for a hidden drug stash in the middle of a Baltimore carwash.The cops,said the court,should have conducted the search in a more discreet location.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:43 am

Spain, with the news that the country's legisture may create a special commission to write lyrics for Spain's national anthem,which has lacked words for more than 200 years."Yes,I would like that,"said one woman interviewed. "Because we don't know what to do when they play the music."

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:48 pm

Answering to a higher authority,after Consumer Reports named Hebrew National Kosher Beef Franks the tastiest hot dogs in the land.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:25 am

Freudians,after the erection of the world's largest (penis) at a amusement park in Changchun,China.The oject is 30 feet tall,is mounted on an altar,and stands as a tribute to "our ancestors' pursuit of happiness and prosperity," says Shi Lixue of the China Folk Culture Association.