Bad Week For

Remember_The_Name · Post by **Remember_The_Name** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:01 am

Swimming outside

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:16 pm

Just following orders,after an 80-year-old German motorist drove through a motorway barrier,a construction site,and into a pile of sand because his Mercedes' onboard navigation system told him to.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:57 am

Male intelligence, after a different study found that men's visits to hospital energency rooms decline significantly during major televised sporting events,and increase significantly when the game is over.

lucky · Post by **lucky** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:50 pm

Being a superintendent at RH - ;-)

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 6:39 pm

Bargains,after warning by medical researchers that Fabuloso,a $1 bottled fluid available in lime green,purple,blue,and red colors,is actually a Mexican cleaning product and not an inexpensive sports drink,contrary to the assumption of 94 individuals so far this year.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:07 pm

The King, who is no longer the world's highest-earning dead celebrity.Forbes reports that Elvis Presley earned $42 million last year,second to the whopping $50 million raked in by the late Kurt Cobain,of Nirvana fame.

1987chieftains · Post by **1987chieftains** » Sun Nov 05, 2006 8:19 am

2-pac has put out albums and made millions and never saw any of it. but, i'm sure mr. puff daddy has seen alot of it.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:45 pm

The Clinton Legacy,after a CNN poll showed that in an imaginary presidential election,voters preferred John McCain to Hillary Clinton by a margin of 48 percent to 47 percent------but would choose Hillary Rodham Clinton over John McCain by 51 percent to 44 percent.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 8:01 am

The Five people you meet in heaven, after a chaplin who baptized Jeffery Dahmer in a prison hot tub announced that the serial murderer,molester,and cannibal accepted Jesus and thus was saved before hie death.People can change,said Rev.Roy Ratcliff.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:19 pm

Men,after a British study revealed that the average man spends a full six months of his life staring at women in a slack-jawed trance of frustrated desire.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 9:52 pm

Designated driving, after Alfredo Martinez,37,of Nevada,realized he was intoxicated and sensibly asked his son to drive him home from a local bar.Unfortunately,Martinez's son is only 7 years old.Police stopped the vehicle because it was weaving dangerously across several lanes.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:29 am

Jet-Setters,after the discovery by University of Virginia scientists that mice subjected to the rigors of international travel--disrupted sleep schedules,arrhythmic patterns of light and dark-died unusually young.

grndma1 · Post by **grndma1** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:55 pm

Michigan

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:10 pm

Corporate speak, after a survey of office workers found that the use of management jargon by bosses lowers employee morale.Workers said they were particularly depressed by the terms "getting one's ducks in a row" and "thinking outside the box."

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:03 am

For someone on a diet or trying to lose weight....

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:06 pm

The Royal Mail of Britain, which released a festive stamp for the holiday season that,in the eyes of some critics,appears to show Santa Claus defecating down a chimney.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:55 am

Walking in the woods, deer season started this morning.....

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:54 pm

Family vacation, after a greyhound bus traveling on an interstate highway in Ohio suddenly released the contents of it's toilet,and they poured through the open sunroof of the Ford Explorer next to it.Robert Stokes,his wife,Angela,and their three children were drenched in a mixture of urine,and toilet paper,and are now seeking $280,000 in damages.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:08 am

the stock market, Dow down 158 and Nasdaq down 54 yesterday.....

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:56 am

The egos of the other candidates, after Sam Duncan of North Carolina was elected to a seat on a county board despite having died a month before the elections."I was shocked to know that poor Sam was gone,"said one Duncan voter,Frank McGuirt."I guess I had just missed that obituary."