Quotes Only!

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:53 am

The best gift for a man who has everything is a burglar alarm

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:22 pm

If you can't win--make the fellow ahead of you break the record

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:11 am

Two can live as cheaply as one---if one of them doesn't eat.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:28 am

A fair-weather friend is one who is always around when he needs you.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:05 am

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:45 am

Ambition may be all right, but it sure can get a fellow into a lot of hard work.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:59 pm

A baby boomer is someone who hires someone to cut the grass so he can play golf for exercise.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:52 am

a joint checking account is never overdrawn by the wife. It is simply underdeposited by her husband

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:06 am

It is difficult to save money when your neighbors keep buying things you can't afford.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 8:00 am

There are 3 chief causes of divorce in America today--men, women and marriage.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:49 pm

He knows so little and knows it so fluently

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:28 am

A minor operation is one that is performed on someone else.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:17 am

You live only once--but if you work it right once is enough.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:30 am

I solved the parking problem. I bought a parked car

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:59 am

When a billing clerk goes psycho, he hears strange invoices

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:36 am

it is always good to be careful when you give advice because someone actually might take it.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 11:59 pm

Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you will ever regret.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:33 am

When I go to a fancy restaurant, I always ask for a table near a waiter.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:25 am

Enough is usually a little more than we possess

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:33 am

Yawning is usually the inadvertent act of opening your mouth when you wish the other person would shut theirs.

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