Don't depend on the Lone Ranger

orange-n-brown 365 · Post by **orange-n-brown 365** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:30 am

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo poop. Someone has stolen tent."

Burg_Grad_77 · Post by **Burg_Grad_77** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:46 am

The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been battling a horde of wild Indians for well over an hour when it becomes apparent that they are surrounded and things are looking hopeless for the pair.

The Lone Ranger looks over at his old buddy and says, "Tonto old pal, we've been through quite a bit over the years and have survived some very harrowing experiences, but this situation doesn't look very promising and we could be at the end of our trail old friend"

Tonto looks around and assesses the situation, sits back down next to his lifelong pal and says, "What you mean we, white man?"

YOU'RE TIGER BAIT · Post by **YOU'RE TIGER BAIT** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:51 am

THOSE ARE GREAT

YOU CAN TRUST OUR GOVERNMENT, ---- JUST ASK AN INDIAN. :shock:

Baby Duck · Post by **Baby Duck** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:31 pm

My Brother had a Lone Ranger doll and Tonto doll with horses and a wagon when we was growing up. I was always getting in trouble cause I would play with them, Hey I couldn't help it if Barbie liked to go on a wagon ride, with the Lone Ranger.

ItownHosscat · Post by **ItownHosscat** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:30 pm

Which brother...

orange-n-brown 365 · Post by **orange-n-brown 365** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 7:39 pm

Baby Duck wrote:My Brother had a Lone Ranger doll and Tonto doll with horses and a wagon when we was growing up. I was always getting in trouble cause I would play with them, Hey I couldn't help it if Barbie liked to go on a wagon ride, with the Lone Ranger.

the hussy she dumped Ken for the Lone Ranger :lol:

TheMalteseFalcon · Post by **TheMalteseFalcon** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:28 pm

Tonto, not recognizing the Lone Ranger disguised as a door, twisted his knob....

TheMalteseFalcon · Post by **TheMalteseFalcon** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:29 pm

Tonto, not recognizing the Lone Ranger disguised as a pool table, racked his balls....

Burg_Grad_77 · Post by **Burg_Grad_77** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:27 pm

Baby Duck wrote:My Brother had a Lone Ranger doll and Tonto doll with horses and a wagon when we was growing up. I was always getting in trouble cause I would play with them, Hey I couldn't help it if Barbie liked to go on a wagon ride, with the Lone Ranger.

Those weren't "dolls". They were "Action Figures", just ask any guy and he'll tell you that. lol

Baby Duck · Post by **Baby Duck** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:32 am

ItownHosscat It was my middle brother. My oldest brother was into baseball cards and yes I would go get into those to and would get in trouble, but thats what little sisters do. :-D

robycop3 · Post by **robycop3** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:26 pm

The LR took a vacation, & decided to visit Tonto's home village. As he approached, he saw an Indian who'd been hanged, still strung up to a tree. He greeted his old friend the chief, and asked him, "Why was that man hanged?" The chief replied. "Uggh! Him found in bed with own mother! Him guilty of being KEMO SABE!"