Holdbacks

[Pocket Aces]

Seems that some have a problem with holdbacks and try to taint certain squads by consistently badgering the contents of certain rosters with such accusations.

Fact is, EVERY area school has at least one hold-back on their roster.....doesn't mean that they are bad kids, have bad parents, or any thing of the sort. Quite the contrary and quite simply, it's a parental decision to keep kids back....people who comment on the matter more than likely do not know what goes on during dinnertime at these families' homes concerning grades, maturity-level, growth-schedule, etc. It's probably best to leave the decision-making process to those families and let them handle the consequences/BENEFITS that arise from such decisions.....

I am sure that the decision to hold students back or not ranks up there with the toughest decisions that many of these families make.....I would also say that 99% of the time, it (being held back) turns out to be beneficial to all involved....I have yet to encounter any parent, from those of former stars at Ironton High School, to current rising stars at local junior high schools, who regrets the decision to keep their child back during the 6th through 8th grade years.....

The next time you question the decision another parent's decision to keep their child back.....open-mindedly talk to a student-athlete (possibly even one from your own district - trust me, they are out there) who has earned an athletic/academic (yes, it makes a HUGE difference in the academic field - again, ask around) scholarship sometime - odds are they stayed back at some point in their academic career....talk to their parents - see if that extra year made a difference in their maturity level.

Also keep in mind that just because Player A was held back, it doesn't mean that they haven't/didn't work their tails off to become the player/person that they are. My son has met a whole bunch of hold-backs (for different reasons) throughout his athletic career and they're all good kids with good families, each in different situations......again, I doubt any of those families regret their decision for one milli-second....apparently (and understandably), some players get bothered by the occasional posts on SEOPS, as they have the right to be proud of their accomplishments without dealing with the "hold-back drama".....but this just in - those are just minor words on a page and will not affect their athletic/academic enrichment/achievements whatsoever.

I am quite sure that the districts that sign-off on parental requests for a "red-shirt" year take into account ALL factors before granting approval to such requests....

I tell ya what, I sure wouldn't mind having my youngster around for an extra year in my homestead before the real world comes a callin'....think about that aspect of "holdbacks" as well.....youth only lasts so long and then they are all grown up and G-O-N-E.......personally, I dread that day.

Peace.

[Manwithplan]

I tell ya what, I sure wouldn't mind having my youngster around for an extra year in my homestead before the real world comes a callin'....think about that aspect of "holdbacks" as well.....youth only lasts so long and then they are all grown up and G-O-N-E.......personally, I dread that day.

Peace.

I hear you loud and clear. I still can't believe that I have a son in the Marines, and a daughter that will be graduating this year. I also have a younger son who is in the 8th grade. There are many times I wish I could turn back the hands of time about 10 years in the past. Man, time sure does fly.

[THE GOVENOR]

I agree with you Aces....i'm not looking forward to that day. I've had 4 graduate with 1 in 7th and 1 in the 5th grade and that will sure be a sad day for my wife and me when the youngest walks down that gym floor in cap and gown. Enjoy them while you can and thank god for grandchildren to spoil !!!!!!! My wife probably won't let the youngest leave the house anyway.

[BlindWhiteHat]

PA, that post is one of the most right-on that I've ever read on here. People should always remember something when posting on SEOP. When you are accusing a player of anything from playing dirty to being held back and playing at an older age than some, you are talking about someone's child. No one would want their child talked about like that on a public forum like this one.

[on a mission]

As far as I've seen thus far I don't think that there has been any names of the kids mentioned.



To add to this a little bit,I would like to know that my son is playing with young men that are in his same age group.This is getting to the point to where you'll have to start your kid late or hold them back to keep them from playing against kids that are a few weeks from being up to 3 years older.I personally think of my son along with his teammates safety when they play,it is not all about the win!From being barely 12 to a few weeks from being 15 big difference.

[Frank Reagan]

You are right, it is not all about the win. Most parents have justifiable reasons more than just winning sports in mind when they hold back their child. The three biggest reasons are about maturity in the forms of physical maturity, social maturity and academic maturity. The same goes for starting their child in school a year later. If a parent, teacher or child feels there is a need to stay back a grade or delay starting school for these reasons, why must many, who hold sports near and dear to their hearts, assume it is always for the win? This is a parent's choice that shouldn't be questioned or infringed upon for whatever the reason.

[eagles73Taylor]

I know our district has stopped taking very young kindergartners. Sometimes kids were coming to school before they turned 5 meaning they would graduate when they were 17. It is not hard to pick out the immature kids and class and they are not always the youngest.

Remember, it isnt just about grades and sports. A childs maturity level goes a long way in determing how good a student they will be. An immature child in the class usually ends up acting out or having difficulty with studies.

I agree that you should hold them back early if you plan on holding them back at all, but some kids dont mature at the same pace as everyone else. Look at who the bullies usually are in school, the bigger kids. I want to give my son and daughter every advantage possible, and if that means holding him or her back I will.

[crazymidgets]

since this is a junior high post and I am a parent of a junior high kid its tough watching him go up against older kids in football especially at this level being a yr or yr and a half younger but being exactly where he is supposed to be physicly and mentally, now in high school that age difference shrinks as they mature but still a difference, my son is in the 8th grade and he isnt supposed to be playing against kids that are supposed to be freshman and that bothers me and a lot of other parents to be hurt playing against older kids so no I dont like the thought of kids being held back just so the they can dominate or win or whatever, and as for empty nest syndrome get some meds. And if any of you played sports in school you remember how much fun it was to play against the younger kids so you could dominate, if your kid is at the level of maturity that he is supposed to be and is doing fine with his school work then NO its not right and the state should start intervening into whats becoming a way to common problem over protective parents and or the desire to have a superstar in their midst, the schools need to be held accountable for this and to take this on a one to one basis per each parental request. Waverly does not have one kid held back from last yr and the school will not allow this to take place. I love my son no less than any of you but he is going to be his own person and live his own life and when the time comes for him to go off into the real world it will be a sad day but one that I have tried to prepare him for.

[Pocket Aces]

You are right, it is not all about the win. Most parents have justifiable reasons more than just winning sports in mind when they hold back their child. The three biggest reasons are about maturity in the forms of physical maturity, social maturity and academic maturity. The same goes for starting their child in school a year later. If a parent, teacher or child feels there is a need to stay back a grade or delay starting school for these reasons, why must many, who hold sports near and dear to their hearts, assume it is always for the win? This is a parent's choice that shouldn't be questioned or infringed upon for whatever the reason.

Great post, XandOs.....you nailed it.

[Peanut]

I'm also in agreement that if it is for education purpose I'm all for it!!! I do believe this should be the responsibility of the school principal and administration to sign off on these requests based on educational reason. Remember, our taxes pay for these kids to go to school and I'm all for using my taxes to educate our kids.
I really think what starts this whole forum on holdbacks is when people (most likely kids or parents) start these forums on who is the best back, the best defense, the best team and so forth. I think people have a hard time considering a kid to be the best back or whatever when people know their age or what school class they should be in. I think these forums about who is best at what is crazy, especially when kids read this stuff and we have them out as already signing their college letter of intent.
When parents try to put their kids out there on a pedastal, and knowing they are playing with a younger group of kids, you are going to hear about the whole "hold-back" story again.

[sportsfan9572]

If you really want to see the ability of each child and school then at the end of each sporting season have a tournament in which each child has to play in the correct age division (not grade) and you have to play for the school in which you reside. Then a lot of people would not be so vocal about the great ability of their kid or school. Now, don't get me wrong on holdbacks. Mine is held back because even though I had no idea what his ability in sports or academics was going to be when he was 5 I did know that he had a late birthday in the school year. I'm just saying it would be kinda fun.

[xochi]

What about the kids who are in their age appropriate classes that are playing sports? Are their rights to play sports with their "peers" being infringed upon? I know we're only talking about one or two years but this is a crucial time when age difference does matter. I can understand maybe one or two kids in a group being older but what about four or five. That's a big difference when it comes to team sports. I mean, that's a whole basketball team. I don't think for an instant that a kid is bad or that their parents are terrible, when a kid older than the normal is playing. You have to do what you think is right for your own kid. However, when I see a kid who is older than the normal age group playing sports that is outstanding, I can't help but think that they should be because of their age. That's just my opinion. I don't want to take anything away from the older kids who are showing their great athletic ability by playing with younger kids but it's hard to judge just how great of an athlete they are whenever they have an advantage over their opponent. And at this point in time, when kids are growing and their bodies are changing, age is definately an advantage.

[crazymidgets]

Ok so what you guys are saying is that your kids dreams of playing are more important than the other kid he will take the place of.
Where we are getting to is that unless your 7th grade kid is better already than the 8th grader in front of him the next yr he will sit the bench and possibly quit the sport altogether is that what we want, and some of you will say well it will inspire him to work harder well thats easy to say to a kid but how do you justify it unless you hold him back as well so he has the same chance to run out onto the court for that jump ball or onto the field for friday night lights cause they all have dreams of it, (even the ones who havent caught up with the other kids in their class) do I want the best for my kid absolutely but not at the sacrifice of another kid, you can say what you want it still doesnt make it right.
When a kid at 14 gets steamrolled by a couple of bigger more mature 15 yr. olds and gets his leg broke or a concussion or god help us worse do you justify that by saying well they should have held him back a yr. I spoke to a 8th grade coach and I wont name him or his school after our game with them in the SOC. only a few to pick from and I said you have a nice team and he said we should they are mostly 15 yr. olds and I was like ok I cant believe he just said that to me.
I am not going to attack anyone on here but I know what happened at a certain school this past yr with all of the kids staying down and I know the kids that didnt get to start this yr because of it, how do those kids feel are they happy that they were sacrificed? Nope I have talked to them personally they won their conferance this yr they should have been estatic and they told me football sucked because of it and one now says he is transferring next yr because of it (and we are seeing a vast increase in the transfer of students is that one of the reasons I dont know but it could be) will he who knows we will find out though, and I asked one of the boys from last yrs 7th grade team how he liked football this yr. and he told me he didnt play this yr. because he said he wouldnt get to play, So he said heck with it, (is that a copout an excuse not to play who knows but him) next up is basketball who will get sacrificed there then its baseball, next yr do the group of kids who got shortchanged stay down for another yr. and does the school allow it, its on them to make sure that every kid get the same chance.
Or when do we just go ahead and say Ohio board of education you were wrong we need our kids to go to school until the 13th grade with all of the schools going to pre-kin. were almost there already or do we add another yr onto it and actually have 13 grades. But until then All of these kids have dreams will they be realized I dont know but they deserve the chance.

[wemufans]

I was sitting in on a parent/ teacher conference with a parent whose child was in the third grade. He was very well behaved and mature socially and physically. He was by school standards an older child for that grade because his birthday was in early October. He was by far the biggest kid in the entire grade at the time by quite a few inches. His parents were huge too. After being told that the school was thinking of holding their kid back because he was not doing the school work needed to go on to the fourth grade, these parents did not ask what can we do to help him go on. All they were concerned about was he going to be able to play his senior year because he would be turning 19 of that year. This type of parent is what gets me. He has since transferred down the river to the football all star team to star for them just as others in his family, (uncles and cousins have done). It seemd to me that they wanted this so he could really be a standout in his grade by being bigger and faster than the boys his age. During his 8th grade year he could be playing right beside a kid that just turned 13 in August and he will be 15 in early Oct. This is 22 months older. Senior year he could he 19 playing with a 17 year old. Doesn't seem fair does it?

This doesn't upset me as much as the kid that plays 3 years of middle school ball. This should not happen. I think at one time the OVC league had a rule against it. I think that rule should be reinstated to cut down on this "holdbacks for sports only" trend .

[Flashing Cursor]

The bottom line is a kid can not be <15 YO before August 1st of his 8th grade year in JH and <19 before August 1st of his senior year. IMO if you want to have you kid graduate at 17 mo' power to ya. But, don't complain about people who are operating within the confines of the guidelines.

My kid will be 19 just after school ends his senior year as I was. I started him late, my parents held me back in JH.

Plain and simple it is no body's business but the parent and kid. I will say this I would not have been prepared for work and college at 17 like I was at 19.

[crazymidgets]

I understand cursor We all want whats best for our child and thats my worry the difference at the jr high level for my son, high school not as big as deal they catch up, my son is normal height weight starting to actually form muscles lol the difference between a 19 yr. old and an 18 yr. not much difference but the growth at 13- 16 is pretty remarkable he has grown a couple inches just over the summer and I cant keep him in shoes, and there in lies the rub puberty, the segragation of school and the purpose of it, k-3 4th-6th 7th- 8th then 9th- 12th they are seperated for a reason, so when we (parents) as a group change then all is fair but if not everyone does this then we have changed the level leaving a lot of kids on the outside looking in or on the ground hurt.
At the point puberty has hit is pretty much the distinction, the schools saying that the 9th. grade or 14 going on 15 yrs of age generally speaking is where the seperation should begin for jr. high and high school and it seems to be pretty close to being correct. That being said there is the exception and the exception is not the problem with this its the ones doing it just for the kid to stand out by being able to clobber someone elses kid when he should be with his own group. Im not trying to offend anyone but as a parent I also have concerns and just happen to be on the other side of the holdback issue worrying about the safety of my son and also the sons of kids coming up who will have to deal with this growing issue in our society.

[curiousgeorge]

What about the families of kids who are bigger for their age but are the correct age? People tend to make quick judgements of these children because they are taller, heavier, etc. Some may have medical conditions that cause them to grow unusually quicker. Do you think it is easy for a parent of one "those" kinda of kids to sit and listen to the people accuse your child of being older just because he might be taller then the other 12 or 13 yr. olds on the team? Is that fair to judge him. I have mentioned on this forum before about how one of the parents carries her son's birth certificate everywhere because she is always questioned about his age. Should she really have to? Every sport that kid has played for the past four or five years someone has always questioned his size. I know for a fact he is a "true" thirteen year old and a "true 8th grader. What if his parents were to hold him back for academic reasons. Should he be punished and not get to play sports because he will be too big to play with the others? If you are worried about how small your child is playing against some kid that is larger then maybe you shouldn't let your child play sports. Kids come in all different sizes. So should the abnormally larger kids have to play with High School kids because they may be closer in size so they must look the same age? They are held back in school for all different reasons. Do the coaches like it if they have an exceptional player held back. Of course! Schools do NOT hold kids back for athletic reasons. Schools fail to pass children for academic reasons. Parents have the choice of holding them back for several reasons. You have up to eighth grade to make that decision. Parents have the FREEDOM of CHOICE to do what is right for their child. I can assure you that no team is breaking the OHSAA rules. These children are playing in the appropriate age group. Do you honestly think a coach is going to risk the playing ability of a child in the wrong age group just to win a game? That child, by OHSAA rules would then be unable to play in High School. Have you specified your age appropriate concerns to the OHSAA? I would be curious to see how that goes.

[crazymidgets]

The topic is holdbacks not kids who are large for their age, used to be that kids were only allowed 2 yrs of jr. high play not 3 and that is the issue that were not agreeing on, if your kid is overly big for his age then he will be overly big when he is a yr older presumebly, theoreticly! That is where the problem comes into an issue you hold your kid back and he was already bigger now he is even bigger than the other kids, which means problems for the next group of kids including safety, now when safety of the group comes into play then something needs to be done football is already dangerous enough thats why we have seperations even into high school freshman jv teams but when you have 15 yr olds playing against 13 yr olds just so they can win a champonship or your kid can look better then it is a issue and if you dont see that then your just trying to make yourself feel better about the situation. an 8th grade student by definition of starting school in kindergarten would not be 15 yrs old when he is in the 8th grade unless he failed or was heldback is that not correct and in high school if his birthday would be before Jan. 1st would not be allowed to play high school ball his senior yr.

[crazymidgets]

oh by the way if you think kids arent being held back for athletic reasons i have some swampland to sell you realllllll cheap

[86Tiger]

You know, I totally understand where crazymidgets is coming from, but I think she/he needs to try to see the other side. My kid was held back in the 1st grade and I tried to fight it. I didn't want him held back. I spent all kinds of money taking him to Sylvan to catch him up so he wouldn't be held back and the school told me I had no choice and no say in the matter that it was the teachers call. I guarantee you that I had know idea of his ATHLETIC ability in the 1st grade.

Since that time he has grown by leaps and bounds and has turned into an awesome athlete. He also has a late birthday which puts him just a few months ahead of the kids in his class. Now here is the "RUB" as you put it. Everywhere we go we have to put up with people yelling at him that he must be 15 or 16 and shouldn't be playing. When he was in the 4th grade he was accused of being on steroids after a basketball game. He is only 14 yrs old in the 8th grade and won't be 15 until April just before school is out. Is it fair that he is constantly questioned and riticuled for his size. He or I had no control over his being held back, but he still has to be treated like a lepar just because he is bigger and a good athlete. People automatically think that he was held back for sports which is the furthest thing from the truth.

My oldest son I did hold back in the 8th grade because of maturity and academic reasons. He is also a good athlete but because he is not so much bigger than the rest no body says a thing about him. He also has an april birthday which also makes him just a few months older and will make him turn 19 right before he graduates.

My point is that people should keep their mouths shut and their minds open because no one knows what each kids situation is. My son has been called everything in the book by adults. When he was only nine playing in minor league baseball (which is based on age not grade) one mother stood up and screamed "he is too big to be playing with these kids" Now, how do you think that made him feel? It goes both ways and adults should remember this before they open their big mouths.

You don't want you kid hurt by others taking what you think should have been his place on the team. I don't want mine hurt by grown folks saying mean and cruel things to them. Bottom line is in both instances that is LIFE and what we should be focusing on is teaching our kids to deal with it. Life is not fair and if anyone ever tells you it is THEY ARE LYING!!!!! If you believe life is fair I have some swampland to sell YOU!!!