Bad Week For

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:35 am

Executive privilege, after a Connecticut man,captured following a high-speed car chase, tried to talk his way out of trouble by telling cops he was Vice President Dick Cheney.John Spernak,42 was promptly Tasered,handcuffed,and sent for psychiatric evaluation.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:56 pm

The boys of summer,after the Cleveland Indians had their first five home games of the season snowed out.To be able to play a game,the Indians had to move their next 'Home" series to a domed stadium in Milwaukee.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 10:18 pm

Machismo, after David Kidwell,one of the biggest--and largest--stars of Australian rugby suffered a season-ending knee injury at the hands of his 2-year-old daughter,over whom he tripped at a family barbecue."I'm pretty shattered," said Kidwell

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:26 am

Allergies....

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:55 am

Pollination,amid mounting concern over a massive and mysterious die-off of American's bees.Beekeepers in 27 states are reporting that up to 90 percent of their bees have disappeared.Thanks to their tireless efforts at crop pollination,bees are estimated to play a crucial role in about 25 percent of the human food supply.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:22 pm

The Man Of Steel, after British geologist found a mineral in Serbia with the same chemical makeup as krypyonite,the fictional substance that renders Superman powerless.Kryptonite's technical name--sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide--can be seen written on a box in the movie Superman Returns.

1987chieftains · Post by **1987chieftains** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:54 pm

RHSPORTS · Post by **RHSPORTS** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:06 pm

sleding or snowbording

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 01, 2007 9:49 pm

Relying on pop-pop,after a Belgian grandfather went to collect his granddaughter from nursery school and came home with the wrong 2-year-old blond girl named Marie.The Incident triggered a massive police search until Fernand Etienne,60 finally figured out why his "granddaughter" was weeping so uncontrollably.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun May 06, 2007 9:44 pm

Catch-22s,after a North Carolina man attempting to pick up his pants from a dry cleaner was arrested for not wearing any pants.Kenneth Lee Wollen,now fully Dressed,is free on $1,000 bail.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:34 pm

Joh Corzine,after reporters clocked the SUV carring him home from the hospital at 70 mph.15 mph above the poated speed limit.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 11, 2007 7:32 pm

Baseball traditionalists, when the Minnesota Twins announced that four of this season's home games will have a designated "peanut-free" seating section for fans with peanut allergies.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun May 13, 2007 12:27 pm

Nostralgia, when the University of Washington Class of 1957 gathered to open the time capsule they buried a half-century ago and discovered,among the various yellowed yearbooks and newspapers;a condom,a pair of dirty underwear,and a sample of pornography.Officials suspect pranksters opened the capsule a couple of decades ago,since the porn was from the 1980s.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 15, 2007 9:41 pm

Novels, after Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, retracted an earlier claim that Battlefield Earth by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard is his favorite book.Romney now says Battlefield Earth is merely his favorite novel;the Bible is his favorite book.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:27 pm

Quick getaways,after a British man was arrested for holding up a car dealership and making his escape on a slow-moving forklift truck.Nobody was injured in the chase,thanks in part,perhaps,to the truck's helpful warning beeps.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:40 pm

Low fidelity,after the last major British retailer to stock cassette tapes,a once-popular audio-recording medium,announced plans to discontinue the product owing to lack of consumer demand.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 22, 2007 7:15 pm

Leaving your body to science,after forensic scientists at Texas State University proposed dumping human corpses in a field to study the decomposition process.The study was put on hold out of fear that a swarm of vultures would circle the rotting bodies,endandering passing airplanes.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu May 24, 2007 5:50 pm

Ancient tongues,after telephone operators in Wales won a battle to not have to greet callers in Welsh,Union officials had argued that the traditional greeting "bore da" ( good morning) and "prynhawn da" (good afternoon) can damage the vocal cords of non-native speakers.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat May 26, 2007 11:00 pm

The bald,after a German ccourt denied a man's claim that his health insurance should cover the cost of a hairpiece.Baldness is too common to be considered a disease,the court ruled, noting that "the hair's protective function against the sun and the cold can easily be replaced by a hat.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed May 30, 2007 5:45 pm

Making a stink, after German authorities revealed they have compiled a database of scent samples from previously arrested anti-globalization protestors ahead of next month's G-8 summit.In the event of a riot,the database will help police dogs seek out the likely instigators.