Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 5:52 am

Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them....

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 7:48 am

Only those who are capable of silliness can be called truely intelligent.

Chrstopher Isherwood,quoted in the London Observer

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:05 am

Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan,

"Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The second one tries to improve on that with,

"Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with,

"From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with,

"From the erection to the resurrection."

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:46 am

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Nov 19, 2006 8:24 am

Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games. ....

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:39 pm

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Dave Barry,quoted in The Kansas City Star.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Nov 19, 2006 7:58 pm

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts....

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:03 am

now that woke me up real quick ^^^ :lol:

Be regular and ordinary in your life.like a bourgeois,so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Gustave Flaubert,quoted in The Washington Post

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:44 am

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Nov 21, 2006 7:24 am

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:01 am

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs.

Robin Williams,quoted in the London Sunday Telegraph

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:33 am

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:03 am

The older one grows,the more one likes indecency.

Virginia Woolf,quoted in the Associated Press

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 6:52 am

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.....

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 7:46 am

Whoever is winning at the monment will always seem to be invincible.

George Orwell,quoted in The Dallas Morning News

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 4:54 pm

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:17 pm

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness;there is also the success of others.

French novelist Jules Renard,quoted in the Houston Long Star Times

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:01 am

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

kantucky · Post by **kantucky** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:02 am

TigerTownTurkey wrote:A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

that's funny!

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:09 am

If we like a man's dream,we call him a reformer; if we don't like his dreams we call him a crank.

Author Williams Dean Howells quoted in the Associated Press