Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them....


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noreply66
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Post by noreply66 »

Only those who are capable of silliness can be called truely intelligent.

Chrstopher Isherwood,quoted in the London Observer


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan,

"Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The second one tries to improve on that with,

"Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with,

"From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with,

"From the erection to the resurrection."


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."


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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games. ....


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noreply66
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Post by noreply66 »

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Dave Barry,quoted in The Kansas City Star.


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts....


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noreply66
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Post by noreply66 »

:lol: now that woke me up real quick ^^^ :lol:


Be regular and ordinary in your life.like a bourgeois,so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Gustave Flaubert,quoted in The Washington Post


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.


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noreply66
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Post by noreply66 »

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs.

Robin Williams,quoted in the London Sunday Telegraph


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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


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Post by noreply66 »

The older one grows,the more one likes indecency.

Virginia Woolf,quoted in the Associated Press


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.....


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Post by noreply66 »

Whoever is winning at the monment will always seem to be invincible.

George Orwell,quoted in The Dallas Morning News


BubbleGumTiger
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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.


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Post by noreply66 »

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness;there is also the success of others.

French novelist Jules Renard,quoted in the Houston Long Star Times


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Post by BubbleGumTiger »

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


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Post by kantucky »

TigerTownTurkey wrote:A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


that's funny!


Well, Who Wouldn't Love Them Fighting Tigers?!
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Post by noreply66 »

If we like a man's dream,we call him a reformer; if we don't like his dreams we call him a crank.


Author Williams Dean Howells quoted in the Associated Press


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