Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio:
All I have to say is "Go Bucks!"
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You
know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter
and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for
candied ones.
"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means
"south."
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as
soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,
Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in
Cincinnati.
"Vacation! " means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer
and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For
example:
"Where's my coat at?"
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer,
and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what 'pop' is.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on
one page but requires six pages for sports.
If you actually get these jokes -- then forward 'em to your
OHIO friends!
Foxworthy's Ohio
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